Confusion is a Crime
by ShadowLev
Summary: Jo doesn't believe in letting emotions get in the way of career goals, which is why she keeps a distance from everyone emotionally. Like it or not, Jo can't distance herself from Camille, and doesn't understand why not. Jo/Camille Slash.


So, there isn't a lot of femslash in the BTR realm. So, I thought I'd fix that.

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Jo gasped in pain as she used her left hand to pull her right arm out behind her. Finally, when the one other person who knew judo at the Palmwoods had time to spar with her, she got her butt kicked. She swung her arm out again, hearing her joints pop, and winced.

Watching Mean Girls with Camille had sounded like a great idea, but the pain in her back from being slammed into the matt over and over again kept her from paying attention to the movie. As she awkwardly rubbed her shoulder, a warm hand appeared on the back of her neck, making her jump. She flinched away from her friend's touch.

"Whoa, what are you doing," Jo asked as she tried turning around. Another hand tentatively landed on her shoulder and began rubbing in small circles.

"Dude, you need to chill a little," Camille said as she continued to rub Jo's shoulder despite the cringing that came from the blonde girl, "I'm sick of watching you squirm around in pain, now scootch forward." Camille pushed Jo forward on the large armchair and leapt over the back, settling right behind her. Jo shifted uncomfortably. She loathed random personal contact, but there was no saying no to Camille.

Warm thighs pressed against her and warm hands rubbed her sore muscles through her shirt, in a painfully wonderful way. Camille leaned over to watch the movie as she massaged her friend's back.

Jo bit her lip at how good it felt and how this made deeper thoughts pop into her head. How did Camille, Ms Over the Top, manage to get up in her personal space like this? No one got close to Jo, if you let people get close to you, they'll rip you and your career down. Her motto came from "Defying Gravity"; sometimes going it alone was the only way to truly reach your dreams, and if love tried to take it away from you, you had to leave love behind. She kept Kendall at arm's length for this reason; sure he was fun to hang with sometime, but she didn't let that level of attachment get in the way of her career. She was sure he felt the same about her.

Camille was a different story, because Jo couldn't help but get pulled into the emotional whirlwind that was Camille's friendship. The girl reached out and dragged her into her personal zone. No one had done that to Jo before Camille. Jo couldn't help the strong feelings she felt for this one girl over anyone else.

Warm hands ran up the back of her neck, prompting a gasp out of the blonde. Camille smirked and dropped her hands off Jo's back, instead encircling them around Jo's thin waist and resting her chin on Jo's shoulder. The blonde crossed her arms over her chest and tried to relax as Camille leaned back. The brunette's perfume, intensified by her body heat, made Jo close her eyes with its fragrance. She sighed, enjoying the physical contact and heat so much, and yet so afraid to relax lest she forget her vow.

"Wanna tell me what's on your mind?" Camille asked tentatively into Jo's ear. The blonde shuddered at the warm breathe against her cheek, flushing gently. Her fingernails dug into the muscles of her arm as she hesitated, debating whether to confide in the closest friend she's ever had and risk scaring her off. She bit her lip in indecision.

"I'm…" Jo started and stopped. She huffed a breath out her nose. Camille squeezed her tighter.

"C'mon, let it out, you can confide in me," Camille murmured. Jo wondered if she was role playing or not.

"What show are you auditioning for?" she asked, trying to avoid the question.

"I haven't decided yet," Camille said and wrapped her arms around Jo's shoulders. Jo sighed and let the girl hug her.

"I'm just having a mental battle," Jo answered vaguely. The heat radiating from Camille's front to her back served as a heating pad, relieving some of the tension from judo and the contact itself. She longed to lose herself in that heat.

"It'll work better if you tell me about it," the girl responded, reaching over with one hand to drag Jo's legs sideways over the armchair, turning the blonde's body sideways in her lap. Jo kept her arms crossed over her chest protectively. Camille's arms loosely encircled her waist.

"It's just," Jo started, "All my life I've been focused on being a star, and I've always known it would be grueling work and I wouldn't be able to have close relationships with people. It's just," Jo stopped to bite her lip again, gathering her thoughts. How to say this without being too obvious, with just enough subtext to hint at the truth without risking being too blatant, "I've been getting closer and closer to someone, and I'm all confused about it,"

Camille nodded gently. Jo didn't look at her, but could feel her nodding.

"Is it Kendall?" Camille asked tentatively. Jo glared at the floor.

"If it was Kendall, this would be so much simpler," Jo murmured, "At least it would be more acceptable," Jo paused. She felt something in her gut waiting to bubble up and out. It hurt inside, it built up with pressure and she felt it struggling to break free. God, she shouldn't let it break free. She tried to no avail, because it bubbled up regardless of her struggles, bringing with it a hot wetness to her eyes and a tremble to her lips.

"Why can't this be simple? I just want these emotions out," Jo trembled. A warm hand touched her cheek, provoking one single tear to escape down her cheek. It turned her face towards the compassionate, kind face of her best friend and soft lips pressed gently against her lips. Jo inhaled sharply and felt more tears trickle out of her eyes. Those soft, warm lips pressed against her own and held there. A small pocket of anxiety softened at the confirmation. She just sat there, enjoying the contact and the release of emotions as tears trickled down her cheeks. This made so much sense, this simple touch of lips, in her world that seemed to exist of only confusion and despair and bitter work.

The kiss ended. Camille withdrew her lips and smiled softly as she brushed the tears off of Jo's cheeks. Jo ducked her head down to avoid Camille's eyes. A hand on the back of her head tucked her face against Camille's warm chest, and Jo let her arms encircle the other girl and squeeze.

"I'm sorry," Jo murmured. Warm hands ran up and down her back again, teasing the abused muscles and soothing them.

"Having a career doesn't preclude you from feelings, you can still have someone who cares about you," Camille reassured as she pulled her blonde little friend closer. Jo sighed and let her body rest in Camille's arms.

"But," Jo started and paused, tentatively looking up at Camille, still terrified of having misinterpreted something, "What if people find out about me being…"

"Then they find out," Camille said softly, "This is L.A. and no one will judge you for that."

"My parents will," Jo whispered softly.

"Then don't tell them yet," Camille murmured, "Just let it happen and don't look ahead with this, that's the worst thing you can do for relationships,"

"But," Jo started again, but lips pressed against hers again and she found her questions answered by that press of lips against lips.

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Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, I'll be continuing this when the muse takes me again. Please review if you have any suggestions or if you want to give me feedback :)


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